Totally wacky and zany NSV moments

Post your funniest or most memorable moments on the server. I’ll begin with a tale of Rages-The-Cage the luchador lizard, I may not get all the details right because I didn’t witness the whole thing.

Round starts. Rages-The-Cage begins to tear apart the gym, when I ask why, he exclaims that he wants to build a rage cage and become it’s new champion.
He Don’s a luchador mask and encourages the crew to face him in the cage, one on one.
Eventually I grow bored of my job and go to the gym. I offer to fight and he heartily agrees.
“PREPARE TO RAGE IN EL CAGE, OLE!”
The fight is on, but it’s over as quickly as it started. I get totally robusted and thrown into an electrified grille, my competitor is hardly scratched. After I’m in crit, he nobly drags me to a nearby sleeper to heal my wounds.
It seems his cage isn’t getting much attention so I make a quantum pad connecting the gym to the briefing room.
Later on, Rages claims to have met his Russian arch nemesis, a bottle of badminka vodka and how he is unable to beat it in the arena.
Shortly after I spot Rages-The-Cage with two bags of holding, I ask why, “ES MY FINAL MOVE, EL ONLY WAY TO WIN, OLE!”
I run to the gym, but I am too late. The rage cage, Rages, and the bottle of badminka vodka are all gone, destroyed by the tear in reality.
After a tough battle with the syndicate fleet, the shuttle arrives and we prepare to leave.
Back at Centcom Rages-The-Cage is there, dressed up in a gas mask and a bear skin cloak, waiting to robust the crew as they leave the shuttle.
Round end report reveals Rages as a traitor who must have traded his telecrystals for the wresting martial art so that he may become the ultimate rage cage champion. Even in defeat he found a way to overcome his opponents at the cost of his own life.

Respect for Rages-The-Cage

3 Likes

What about that time when Czanek decided to rush data expunged and the server died a painful death.
Certified czanek moment

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Some of my memorable ones include:

  • The Supreme Bear of Wheat and the Cookie Cult of Munitions

  • The armada sent against Jeremy Thompson

  • The 7th Grade Sciences Division explaining why you can’t break the laws of thermodynamics after engineering was sent a cruise missile.

  • A pirate stealing the pipes from the stormdrive because they were valuable.

  • The abductors hiring Czanek.

4 Likes
  • Czanek’s radio repeatedly exploding because he wouldn’t turn loud mode off
  • Fifty patrol cruisers vs 1 NSV carrier
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  • The NSV Empire Strikes Back rams into a literal black hole
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  • Czanek vs CC in the form of holopads raining down from the sky and the department heads playing blackjack against admiral Rudiger who gets a 21 on his first hand.
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Bartender ling tries to get me as sec, PDA other officers and started a ling crusade, not a single ling survived that round

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fun fact: stalin was me
URAH my comrads (before you ask no im not russian)

Transformed Czanek into felinid. Got executed AND borged.
Transformed Czanek IPC into felinid. Got away with 17 minute sentence.
Got in a fight over a cum bread.

What fresh hades have I found? Sounds like people needed some Burning Honkmother Clowns and noERP posters.

3 Likes

i need more of these to make a song, post more of these

Well you have

  • Counter-mutiny
  • Taking down multiple boarding parties alone
  • Barry
  • Joe derailing multiple shifts with his incompetence/deliberacy
  • Countless hull superstructure crit
  • that one round where franc/kmc/whoever legit just fucked with colors the whole round
  • that one round where we tried autopilot. Bad.
  • yep
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There was that one time papa johns sent pizza ships at us with delivery boy boarders

I was chilling in munitions as an assistant, i found a nerf gun so i loaded it and started blasting. there was a traitor there and he tought i was his tator friend so he started shooting a real stetchkin, so i caved his skull in with a toolbox. EZ

CursedCaptainCLown Clown Captain flies ship into combat and does not die instantly

first time captain on round 1000… which was a event with some of the most ships I’ve ever seen.

I somehow piloted us to a win.

You mean, Admiral Gondola helped you to that win :stuck_out_tongue:

1 Like

central command acknowledged i won by bombing me… shhhh